Recently, I have had no headspace.
I do not say that lightly, I genuinely mean, in my mind there has been room for absolutely nothing.
The reason I want to write about it today is that often we allow stress to push us away from what we love, when sometimes it is better to let it drive us to those things in order to centre ourselves.
So I am getting married in November, and until about two weeks ago, this has not been a drama for me.
Planning? All good!
Guest Lists? I’m totally sweet!
Dress? I’ve had it since December!
But then, without warning about two and a bit weeks ago, I suddenly found myself getting hyper over-whelmed with everything.
There was suddenly so much to do, so much to focus on and do properly. All of my spare time was dedicated to tying ribbons around invitations, addressing them, and posting them off as soon as I could.
Worst part was that I had a crisis of sorts because none of my bridesmaids were around to help, so I loaded this mostly on my mother, and would sit for hours after work in my living room listening to my Boney M Album on my record player.
All of my disposable income, all of my disposable time, was spent on reviewing guest lists, figuring out if we had the right balance of people at our reception, where to save money, where to spend, where I could do something because ‘you only get married once,’ and when I should not do something because it was a little silly/unnecessary.
I had little space in my brain for anything else, but that wasn’t the worst of it.
Work was a nightmare!
I am generally a person who deals with difficult situations by taking a deep breath and getting on with it, generally with a level of success.
I became this person who could barely sleep, dreamt about wedding crap, had a dozen pimples all over my face, ulcers in my mouth and feeling physically ill every time I thought about anything wedding related.
Of course there was no time to write, because I had come to the end of myself with a storyline and I needed to develop the narrative a little more. BUT WHERE WAS THE TIME!?
So I was stuck, and I wasn’t writing and I wasn’t really doing anything for myself – aside from planning a wedding and going to work.
But sometimes we just need to reclaim one little thing and we feel better.
I realized instead of the stress pushing me away from writing, I could use it to nail my colours to the mast and reclaim a part of my life. So instead of focusing on wedding stuff endlessly, I planned my story. I developed characters, and what I wanted to write. I would be determined about actually sitting down and writing something every morning to feel like I’d done something for myself that didn’t involve white dresses and churches.
Weddings are great, work is great, but stress isn’t.
So I want to encourage you guys today, that if you are feeling what I was feeling: insanely overwhelmed, then take control, and reclaim something small for yourself.
You won’t believe the difference it makes.
PS: sorry I have sucked at writing blogs. This has been why!