author · narrative · stories · writer's block · writing

What I Want To Do Vs. What I Should Do

The Apostle Paul talks about this in Romans 7:15.

For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate.”

Tell me about it, Apostle Paul, I know exactly where you’re coming from.

So I wrote a book called Dare recently, and then subjected it to a HUGE storyline edit and worked super duper hard… and now I’m finished with it and have passed it onto be edited hopefully to submit to some literary agents (fingers crossed)

What you have to understand is that I actually wrote the book in the first place because I was procrastinating.

When I was thirteen years old I finished my first book, it was called The Jewel of the Lost Empire, and it was awesome.

At least, as awesome as a book by a thirteen year old could be.

This book became the corner stone to my writing. It was the first in what would become a series of books called ‘The Tasks,’ which I wrote like… fourteen books of, spanning from the fresh faced thirteen year old to seventeen year old school leaving Jess.

The series is pretty epic. It is about time travel, and war, and prophecies, and straddles Sci-Fi and Fantasy and I can’t believe I haven’t told you more about it. Regardless, I stopped writing for a little bit when I was eighteen and only picked it back up again when I was twenty one.

When I did come back to writing, at twenty one, I put my hands back on ‘The Tasks,’ and decided to write the series again, only this time, better, stronger, more concise and not as long of a series.

Since then, (the last nearly four years) I have been working on this NEW version of the Tasks and it is actually awesome. I love them so much even I go back over them, reading them again. PS I should tell you about them sometime.

The thing is that I am now up to the very last book in the series, a book which when writing the original series, I didn’t actually get up to.

I need you to understand something: I am scared of this book.

It’s called ‘High King,’ and everything rides on this book!

The conclusion of the central romance.

Seeing a main character rise to his full potential

the HUGE plot twist I have been planning the whole time (because I write about time travel, the plot twists are pretty epic)

But I am TERRIFIED of writing it wrong, so I keep distracting myself with other things.

Anyway, I know I should be working on ‘High King,’ but the book and storyline scares me to the point I cannot bring myself to plan it even…

I’m not sure if you’ve ever felt this way, but I seriously understand where the Apostle Paul was coming from.

What I want to do, I don’t do, and what I don’t want to do I do…

I’m stuck.

Officially, stuck.


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