Like you’re reading title of this and thinking, ‘holy moly has she lost her mind…?’
But seriously. I’ve been internalizing this one for a while, so here we go.
FOMO, for those who – like me – had no idea what this mean until you saw it all over Facebook/heard it from people and at some stage w had to google this to figure out what it mean it means this: Fear Of Missing Out.
Apparently FOMO is like a property anxiety these days because of the digital age and access to information and speed of the world that we live in. Who knew!?
There was this point a few months ago that I stopped and thought, ‘Oh my goodness. Am I a boring person?’
I just saw people living these awesome lives on Facebook and my life seemed so uninteresting.
It was a Me < Everyone Else kind of equation.
Not only that, I would get this HUGE insecurity that came with every opportunity, be it church or work or social or whatever that I had ALL OF THIS STUFF to do (that had to the potential to make me as exciting as everyone else looked!) and the reality was that I already have this pretty full life.
Not to say I don’t have time for people and friends and stuff, it’s ALWAYS important to have time for that, but I didn’t have time for every single event outside of the boundaries that we have to put up to ensure that we still function, and sleep and eat and have time to breathe.
Most people I meet are exhausted. Or describe themselves as ‘Busy’ or you have to book three or four weeks ahead to see them. Frequently I am like that too. Busy, rushed, tired, and unavailable and I hate it.
Still, we are driven by this insecurity that means that we fill every single second with a wrestle to be ‘In on it.’
Whether this means we are at that place that everyone else is at.
That we know that thing that everyone else knows.
That we wear that thing that everyone wears or whatever else is trendy (be it a band, book or whatever) at the moment.
We want to be ‘In on It.’ THAT is at the heart of FOMO.
The problem is that in so desperately wanting to be ‘In On It,’ we are robbed of enjoying the things we are ‘In On,’ and we live lives in this blur of checking Facebook, or looking over the person we are talking too’s shoulder because maybe such and such is here. We aren’t present in what we are ‘In On’, appreciating the stories of what we are ‘In On,’ and the moments of it. Which sucks because this is our life. We should enjoy it and be happy with it.
The worst thing is that advertisers and brands and sometimes our friends use this insecurity associated with FOMO to pressure us into being or doing or wearing or whatever when we know it is clearly outside of who we are. We are terrified that we’re going to be ‘Out of It’ that we often undertake way too much and become these busy, stressed, full on book three months in advance people.
To which I say to you this: Slow the HECK down.
Chill out. Stop constantly looking forward but instead take the moment to enjoy the right now.
Figure out who you are, what your capacity is, what matters to you, and do that. Then once and every so often surprise yourself, by doing something different.
Be available, don’t be dictated by this fear that you’re going to be ‘Out’ but enjoy what you are ‘in.’
The thing is we are living our own stories every day. We are the custodians of them. But if you’re traveling at a million miles an hour and trying to tick boxes and be in the mix of everything, you’re going to have this movie trailer life that looks super exciting but misses the depth and awesomeness of the full movie. I am not saying be boring. I am saying be yourself on purpose without FOMO.